The nicest thing I can say about this film is that I imagine the script was probably passable in it's original language. When translated to English, and committed to film by this team of people, it's an indistinguishable mess of a movie.
It's a sad thing, because I have enjoyed all three of the actors in this film. Christina Ricci plays Anna Taylor, who through the majority of the film, might be dead. Liam Neeson plays the funeral director who is preparing her body for burial, and Justin Long plays the less than perfect, and thoroughly misunderstood, would be fiancé to Ricci's Anna.
The film is trying to make a mystery out of the question of whether or not she's dead or whether or not Liam Neeson's character has done something to her, etc. It also makes quite a big deal out of the guilt of the living, and blah, blah, blah. It's honestly not worth going into because because by the time it's over, it doesn't make any sense any way. I disliked every single character in this film, which is quite a feat, because I do my best to give every film I see the benefit of the doubt going in. This one, took that benefit, and beat me over the head with it for ninety minutes.
I'm relatively sure this film is trying to make an existential statement of some kind, but it's narrative is so incoherent, it's never clear enough to make out. There's always the chance that the film maker's were trying to use that sam kind of vague storytelling that helps to establish a sense of unease and mystery. Some films have successfully used that kind of barely sensible, almost speaking to your unconscious more than your conscious mind. If I give the writer and director of this film the benefit of the doubt, then I'd be willing to believe they were trying to attempt to do exactly that. If I weren't giving them the benefit of the doubt, I'd guarantee that making this film in English with this cast was more important to this folks than making a film of actually good quality. It's understandable because had it been made in their native language in the Netherlands, the chances that it would have gotten any release here in the U.S would be extremely slim. The chances anyone would have seen it without these three actors in the lead roles, even slimmer.
I can honestly say that ever single aspect of this film had some serious problems. The screenplay can be blamed for the incoherent mess of a narrative, but everything else has some serious problems as well. Going right on down the line, the cinematography has a Lifetime Movie of the Week feel to it, the set design was either going for minimalist or lazy and unimaginative (which it did achieve if that's what it was trying for), the score is boring at best and annoying at worst.
This film is a waste of good talent and good funding. Seriously, this After.Life never seemed to have any life in it in the first place.
Showing posts with label this movie sucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label this movie sucks. Show all posts
Monday, February 07, 2011
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Clash Of The Titans (2010, Louis Leterrier)
"That Kraken was f**kin' big!"
That's basically all there is to be said about this movie. Really. The best thing about this movie is the jokes my friends were making about it once it was over. I'm not going to recount those to you, because I'm going to bet they won't be as funny now.
This is serious crap, and not the kind of crap that is so bad it's entertaining. Actually, to me, it's infuriating a small fortune was spent to make this horrendous pile of turd. The script was a horrible mess, the 3D wasn't really all that interesting, the effects were run of the mill (at best), and you spend an hour and thirty minutes basically being told Perseus is going to have to fight The Kraken, and he never actually fights The Kraken.
The drugs in Hollywood must really be top shelf, high grade stuff.
This film has only one redeeming quality. Gemma Arterton is ethereally beautiful. She's still not beautiful enough to have made this worth the time.
There's some choice xenophobia running around in there and the cadre of Greek Gods who do show up in the film are wasted. Go pick up a book about Greek mythology if you want to see how cool they actually are meant to be. Hell, they were cooler in the original film, stop motion animation and all.
C.G.I and cool looking creatures do not fix everything. In fact, they fix nothing. They should be used to enhance the story, something which doesn't really exist here.
Save your money. Watch this on Cable in a few years when TNT runs a marathon. This movie just plains sucks.
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