Sunday, April 11, 2010

Clash Of The Titans (2010, Louis Leterrier)

"That Kraken was f**kin' big!"

That's basically all there is to be said about this movie. Really. The best thing about this movie is the jokes my friends were making about it once it was over. I'm not going to recount those to you, because I'm going to bet they won't be as funny now.

This is serious crap, and not the kind of crap that is so bad it's entertaining. Actually, to me, it's infuriating a small fortune was spent to make this horrendous pile of turd. The script was a horrible mess, the 3D wasn't really all that interesting, the effects were run of the mill (at best), and you spend an hour and thirty minutes basically being told Perseus is going to have to fight The Kraken, and he never actually fights The Kraken.

The drugs in Hollywood must really be top shelf, high grade stuff.

This film has only one redeeming quality. Gemma Arterton is ethereally beautiful. She's still not beautiful enough to have made this worth the time.

There's some choice xenophobia running around in there and the cadre of Greek Gods who do show up in the film are wasted. Go pick up a book about Greek mythology if you want to see how cool they actually are meant to be. Hell, they were cooler in the original film, stop motion animation and all.

C.G.I and cool looking creatures do not fix everything. In fact, they fix nothing. They should be used to enhance the story, something which doesn't really exist here.

Save your money. Watch this on Cable in a few years when TNT runs a marathon. This movie just plains sucks.

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